Born Yesterday as of Yesterday

It is not uncommon for people to legally change their name. They can do it when they marry (in traditional marriages the female takes the male’s surname, very rarely the other way around); when they adopt; when they enter a witness protection program; or, one can “simply” make a legal request to change their name.

I know several people who have changed both their first and last name, just their first name or just their last name. For the most part, none of these requests are disputed or denied.

There was the woman in Sweden who wanted to change her name to ‘Dark Knight,’ denied. Then there was the case in New Zealand in which the parents lost custody of their nine-year-old, ‘Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii,’ until they renamed her. Other names that have caught the attention of the courts: Midnight Chardonnay, Number 16 Bus Shelter, Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, and Sex Fruit.

I knew a guy called “David” who, at the age of 36, changed his name to “Brayden.” Whenever we would get in disagreements, instead of resorting to old fashioned name calling, I would just call him “David.”

With all of that in mind, I wondered today if one could legally change their date of birth. I mean a name is a pretty big deal – a major part of your identity – and you can change that. So, why not your date of birth?

Depending on which direction you go, older or younger, you could really benefit. For example, if you make yourself old enough, you could retire, benefit from senior discounts and qualify for Medicare. If you went the other way, you could relive your youth. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood, right? In addition, when people quip, “Were you born yesterday?” you can proudly reply, “As a matter of fact, I was born yesterday, and I’ve got the court documents to prove it.”