Bellying Up

That’s Not Chinese gave two weeks notice a couple of days ago. Today, she felt she might not be able to stay at her job that long. I felt sound advice was in order, “You’re like Obama. Can you do it? Yes, you can! Do you think he likes all those peeps in congress? No! He does it for the little guy, so keep on doing it for the little guy.”

Pretty inspirational, but it really didn’t work, so, OregganO and I invited her to meet us at Tree’s place of employment for food and beverages. Upon arriving, we got the best greeting ever from FatGirl. Absolutely love him! He had been waiting for us for a while (“on my way” for me translates to “see you in a couple of hours”), so he was eating dessert by the time we arrived, and we had no qualms about bellying up right next to him at the bar. 

That’s Not Chinese finally arrived and I Can Relate arrived shortly after. Sadly, they didn’t get to hang with FatGirl – he had headed home to do his hair for the evening. Tree was tending bar, and doing a fine job, when That’s Not Chinese advised us they (she and Tree) had once talked about having sex. Tree clarified, “No, it was about four in the morning and you had decided you were ready for the bar. I told you the time and you told me, ‘ok, well, we could just have sex,’ did not happen!”

Eventually, Tree’s boss, Rose Colored Glasses (he thinks if he wears them long enough he and others won’t see he is gay – what are rose colored glasses for if not to skew reality?) left for the evening which allowed us to loosen up a bit. Woot!

Unfortunately, no real loosening took place. OregganO and I took a few pictures and then Tree joined us for mayhem at a couple of ‘west side’ bars. We had the pleasure of running into FatGirl, who took several hours picking a beanie and considered that “doing his hair.”

After a little drink with FatGIrl we headed to the Marmalade District for pre-conf karaoke. I figured out, right quick I might add, that ‘he (whoever he may be ) is not into me because he’s into he. Oh well.

Tree, OregganO and I started talking about two way v. one way….people, not roads. I told Tree, “I don’t mind if you u-turn, as long as it is my turn sometime.”  Makes sense, or does it?

10 thoughts on “Bellying Up”

  1. I have received some offline feedback that this entry does not make sense. To me, it makes as much sense as doing a trick and ending up impaled by a broom handle in the cornhole.
    ROFL told me not to worry about it because none of my entries make any sense. So, I’m not worrying about it. I’m taking a Bobby McFerrin approach.
    Can you relate? I know I Can Relate can now relate, so there you go!
    I’m just sayin’.

  2. one way people are the best kind. they’re always going theirs. if you need a u turn, there’s
    a) an app for that
    b) internet pornography

  4. Bitch! I have to admit I sat here laughing my fat ass off as I read this. Does anyone have any Tree killer? I’ll have you know I had a lot of compliments on my beanie.
    Thank you,
    FAT GIRL?

  5. Ah, FatGirl, I’m so happy to hear from you! Bitch, from you, is a term of endearment, so, thank you!
    Keep reading and keep laughing your ass off – then I can change your name from FatGirl to TortillaAss:)

  6. As I tell Tree if I don’t call you names or fight with you… how will you know I love you? One other thing I’ll have you know this A.M I asked my professor if she thought that I needed to do an extra credit paper (because they are due next week). She replied, “An overachiever like you… I doubt it. Didn’t you get more points than were possible on the last test?” My response was, “Yes…yes I did!” (There was an extra credit question on the last test). This proves that my minority status (as some would assume) has nothing to do with my scholarships and admittance into the university and everything to do with scholastic achievements. Bitch!

  7. Alright, alright, I admit, I’m an asshole! You do know I love you loads and miss you chunks! Maybe I’m a minority. I mean, I am a bit of an overachiever and I often reply, quite giddily, “Yes….yes, I did!”
    Now, when are you, Tree and me hanging out again you smart, sassy little FatGirl?!?!?

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