Every now and again I have the privilege of traveling for my job. The places I go are amazeballs.
I’ve been to UFO Landing Sites (according to the sign posted by the land owner), ghost towns and, most recently, I visited a town named after a popular 90s band – Manila Vanilla. That isn’t really the town name, but I don’t really think that was a UFO Landing Site.
Getting to this town required driving through a neighboring state and it was in this state that I realized I was a day late and two balls short for Testicle Festival. In the ‘Wild West,’ due South of Brokeback Mountain, the locals really like to have a ball…or two. I’m not talking about a good time – although they do like that – I’m talking about testicles and they like them in their mouth.
Apparently, testicles are a delicacy. I always knew testicles were delicate, which is why I’ve always handled them with care, but I had no idea people like to swallow them.
In these parts – private and wild – they love balls. In an attempt to sound sophisticated when referring to or partaking of the sack beneath the smokestack, they often refer to the testicles as Rocky Mountain Oysters or Cowboy Cavier. Call it what you will, but I’m a firm believer that you are what you eat and those who eat testicles are clearly nuts!