Thinning front

Recently I’ve noticed I’m experiencing a little hair loss. “I totally have male patterned baldness,” I told my elite alumni. “No you don’t,” On My Terms said. “Not on my head,” I said, “Downstairs. I’m rocking a combover tonight.”

Scared, who was in the middle of a Kegel marathon thanks to what a waxer once told her, couldn’t believe what I said to be true. If only she had been at the meaterie when I shared the same news with Mia Mamma and my female siblings. “It’s true,” Mia Mamma confirmed, “The older you get, the less you have.”

It is true. The more you shave, wax, laser and age the less hair you have and, as a result, you might find your nether regions looking a lot like Donald Trump’s crown – a good wind gust could quickly ‘blow your cover.’

So, if you find yourself in this situation, might I recommend really. really good pants.