Tree has been working in the produce department as of late and, yes, he has heard all of the jokes. He has also heard about his rights, so every two hours he takes a ten-minute break.
The other day, towards the end of his shift, his store director approached him and asked, “What’s going on with you?” A general question for which Tree could have provided a multitude of answers. Instead, Tree requested clarification and learned the store director had paged him twice to report to his office, all to no avail, because the pages were made when Tree was outside on his (cigarette) break. Tree advised his store director of his whereabouts and the fact that, regardless of how busy the store may be, “I am not not taking my breaks.” The store director then informed Tree that he had sensed a change in him since he was hired.
As I listened to the story I knew Tree needed a better Performance Plan. “I’ve got two suggestions for you. One: During your allotted break, take off your work uniform and reveal something Daffyd, the only gay in the village (Little Britain), or Terry Bernadino, the gay roller-skating prostitute (Reno 911!), would wear. Then, after your break, put your work uniform back on and return to the produce department – this would make both Daffyd and Terry proud. A bit more proud if you stayed in their preferred attire, but proud, still. Two: If your store director continues to give you heat, excuse yourself for a minute, go back to the warehouse where you keep the produce and your costumes, and come out that plastic strip door curtain dressed as Dee Snider (Twisted Sister), holding a boombox and blaring, ‘We’re not gonna take it! No, we ain’t gonna take it! We’re not gonna take it anymore!'”
“Well, I do like a good performance,” was Tree’s reply.