That’s Not Chinese recently invited Tree and I to her house for dinner. I told her I would make bread, she said she would make dinner, and Tree told us he would simply make his way there. An hour or so before dinner I received a text from That’s Not Chinese asking if I would grab wine.
“Should I bring one or two bottles?” I asked Tree. “Two, just in case,” he advised and added, “I’m sure she is at least one glass into a bottle already.” We arrived to find That’s Not Chinese was completely without wine and had been waiting patiently for us to arrive. “Thank God you are finally here. I’ve been dying to both eat and drink,” she told us, took a bottle, and quickly opened it.
As we dined, Tree shared a story with us about a Honda Fit, ‘She’s‘ that is designed specifically for women. “It’s got a special air conditioner to prevent dry skin and a wrinkle guard on the windshield. “Who needs all that?” That’s Not Chinese asked. “True. Although, you could use the wrinkle guard,” I replied. “You’re an ass,” she scowled at me. “Don’t do that. It gives you wrinkles and you don’t have a She’s to prevent them,” I told her.
An hour or so after dinner was over we realized we were facing a wine emergency. “Who can we call to bring us wine?” That’s Not Chinese asked. We discussed several options, I put a ‘wine emergency’ message on facebook, and That’s Not Chinese called her next door neighbor. “Any chance you can bring over a bottle wine? White? Huh, well, OK. What about cupcakes? We’re celebrating a birthday but don’t have dessert. Perfect, see you soon.” “They’re bringing white wine and waffles,” That’s Not Chinese told me and Tree, the very belated birthday boy.
That’s Not Chinese then left the room and soon returned with a bottle of red wine. “Where did you get that?” I asked. “It was hiding,” she replied. “We were in the middle of a wine emergency and you left that in hiding?” Tree asked. “And who are you hiding it from? Us? You live alone,” I piped in. “Hey, it’s good wine,” she said. “We’ll be the judge of that. Put some in our glasses!” Tree told her as the neighbors walked in with two bottles of white and several packages of waffles. Wine emergency abated.
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