Strays

For a while, grey hair was popular. If you google, ‘grey hair popular,’ the first thing that pops up is ‘the grey hair trend of 2010.’ For many with naturally grey hair, this was a great year. For Anderson Cooper, every year is 2010. Bruiser and I were discussing this fact and admiring some lovely naturally greyed hair women. “I would go that color,” I told her. “Me too, but all I’ve got is these strays. Every time I see them, I color them,” she replied. “Gotta keep the strays to get the greys,” I advised her and then told Kitchen Beautician it might be time to tend to my strays again.

The next day, I tended to my other strays: BeCuz, Har, LaLaLovely (she was done laying Low) and Oreggano. We dined, drank and dished for about four hours. At one point in the conversation, I noticed that BeCuz had a piece of herb on her front tooth. “You’re got some herb on your front tooth,” I told her. “I’m saving it for later. Fuck off,” she replied. This is why BeCuz is one of my strays – she has always deviated from life’s norms.

Eventually, we all left the restaurant. LaLaLovely had to “get some…..where,” Oreggano and I planned to stoop, and Har and BeCuz left for home – herb still intact. Oreggano and I hadn’t been stooping for more than one glass of wine, so I’m guessing 20 minutes, when a stray dog ran up onto the porch and immediately joined our festivities. Luckily, I have dog dishes (from previous ‘strays’) and was able to provide Mocha (the current stray dog) with some fresh water. Thus, within minutes of the new guest’s arrival, we were all drinking on the porch, even 4-oh-9, who had her bottle.

Two hours later, Mocha’s sitter retrieved her, Oreggano and 4-oh-9 headed home and I went inside, brushed my teeth and noticed a stray. This time, however, the stray wasn’t a dog, it was a grey hair. Wanting to live in the now and not in the then – which, in this case, is 2010 – I decided to schedule a hair appointment with Kitchen Beautician as soon as possible. Last thing I need is to be led astray by a grey.