Build-A-Girl

BioMom, Oreggano and I have been longing for a girls night out together for some time and tonight was the night. As we drove toward our destination – a lovely bistro with a $1 cork fee, we got a call from Tree and FatGirl. They, too, were having a ‘girls’ night out, so we invited them to join us.

They arrived and FatGirl excitedly announced he was planning to buy a condo and become a foster parent. “I want a young girl,” he told us. “That may set off some red flags,” Oreggano replied. “Not too young, like 12 and older,” he clarified. “It still may be cause for alarm, but once they meet you they’ll know they need not have concerns,” Oreggano told him, then said to Tree, “You realize he is totally going to get into cat fights with these girls, right?” “Oh, I know,” Tree said as though it wasn’t the first time he and FatGirl had discussed it. “Yep, I want a girl. 12 years or older. Hispanic. With long hair,” FatGirl advised us. “This isn’t a Build-A-Bear workshop. This is a human being,” Tree informed him.

After several hours of other patrons most likely wishing we would take our conversations elsewhere, we got the bill. “Divide it in half by five and add 20%,” BioMom told the server who, already confused with all of our requests, was now completely baffled. “We really should have just paid before we started drinking,” Tree advised. “True. Although, the service wasn’t too great,” Oreggano observed. Maybe next time we can make a different kind of request – for a server,  12 years of age or older, long hair, Hispanic.