I decided to introduce Alice and That’s Not Chinese to a new artist – new to me, anyway, most of my new stuff is old. As they listened to the song and watched the video Alice stated, “Wow, you do have a heart.” “No, I just have good taste,” I replied.
This wasn’t true for some people who recently took one of my cars on a test drive and, in return, left me their beat-up Honda Accord. Not So Little Man thought it was brave of me to let them take the car. I told him now would be a good time for us to take their keys/car and commit illegal activity. Being that I try to be a good role model, we went to the movies instead, in my car.
The potential buyers opted against buying the car, returned it, and retrieved their car. That’s Not So Little Man, Can’t Be Bothered and I decided to take my car for a test drive and, when we got inside, found a surprise – the test drivers left behind one of their church CDs. Nothing like a new CD, unless, of course, the new CD is a 7-year-old LDS compilation. I decided to send them a text, “Sorry you decided against buying the car, I was going to offer you a free 2005 efy CD with purchase. I can mail it to you if you’d like.”
The potential buyer replied, “Wow, that beats any offer we’d gotten. We felt really good about it, but we just couldn’t do it.” Clearly, she hadn’t realized she left the CD in the car….or maybe she did. “Quick,” I told Not So Little Man and Can’t Be Bothered, “Check the car for a Book of Mormon. I think they only test drove the car in an attempt to convert us.” We didn’t find a Book of Mormon and I followed up with one more text, “Do you want me to mail you the CD?” Like pregnant Jessica Simpson on Jimmy Kimmel, she finally figured it out, “How funny. I forgot we left that in there:) Just thought you had a few you gave out occasionally.”
Wrong. I don’t have a heart – just good taste, I’m a non-prophet organization and, now, I’m wishing I’d saved that CD for a white elephant gift.