J.R. Muffnstuf

Had a bit of a late start today. Library movie rentals will do that to you. I phoned OregganO immediately upon waking to see if she would like to join No Action Jaxon and I for a walk and a little bird feeding at the park. She was in.

On our way to the park, we passed a few local listings and OregganO, as both my attorney and realtor, placed a few phone calls for some afternoon showings. Showing is what we got. We had a glass of wine and made our way to a ‘showing,’ and quickly learned the selling agent didn’t alert the sellers. OregganO quickly sent him a text, “Just walked in on your clients.”

We walked back to her humble abode, had some Green Fin Table Wine and watched Brandy and Ray J: A Family Business, on VH1. These are the times I am reminded how much I wish I was black. The first time I wished this I was a youngster and I think my parents thought I was just being a punk kid. I knew I couldn’t be black, no matter how much I went tanning – Michael Jackson is the only person I know who has succeeded in color change. Nonetheless, I tried. I even requested a black Cabbage Patch Doll for Christmas. Instead, I got Lon Chet – a lonely, white, French preemie.

If you haven’t watched Brandy and Ray J: A Family Business, I highly recommend it. There are very few reality TV shows that inspire me to take notes, this show is one of them. As we were watching the show, No Action Jaxon found comfort in lying in my lap, in between my legs. I advised OregganO that if I ever got a dog, foster or otherwise, I intended to call him ‘Muff” or ‘H.R. Muffnstuf,’ for short. Within a few minutes, OregganO advised me, “Your muff is asleep.” I informed her my muff has  been dormant for some time.

Right soon after this, Ray J was preparing for a reunion show. He met up with Ms. Berry, who informed him, “You need to figure out what it is you’re doing and holla at me later.” Ray J responded, “What do you mean? Holla at ya later? Like when, tonight?” “No,” replied Ms. Berry, “Like, when you feel that you’re really ready.” Even OregganO had to admit, this was some good shit. I kind of wish I knew them. They have some good lines and some smokin’ nicknames.

As time quickly passed by, I got hungry. Everyone knows I can only live on my body fat for so long. I suggested we walk to the local grocer and have a corn dog or some fried chicken. OregganO was offended – she was in no mood for fried chicken. Instead, she made me cheese fondue. As she was prepping the cheese, No Action Jaxon started sniffing about. She referred to him as J.R. Muffnstuf. I quickly reminded her he wasn’t from Dallas and it was H.R., not J.R., but it was too late – the name stuck.

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