Fat

It’s been a while since TooStalky—a guy who frequently stops by my house and yells, “Lisa, Lisa” (which, by the way, is not my name)—has made his rounds.

The other day, MiniMe and I were sitting in the front room when we heard this, “Lisa, Lisa. Hello. Open the door. Hello.”

“Shit, it’s TooStalky! Close the blinds. Lock the doors,” I told MiniMe.

We did so and successfully avoided having to say, over and over again, “We don’t have any work for you right now.”

TooStalky

 

A few days later he returned and, as luck would have it for him, I was hanging out on the stoop with Rated R and Live Longer.

“Lisa, I need some work,” were the first words out of his mouth.

“Hi. I don’t have anything for you to do right now.” I replied.

“You need mulch,” he advised.

“I can do that myself,” said I, proudly.

“I will trim your trees,” he then offered.

“I can also do that myself,” I advised.

“You’ll cut off your arm. Come, let’s go take look,” he said and started walking toward by back 40.

As we walked he asked, “May I tell you something? You don’t get mad?”

“Sure,” I said knowing that with a disclaimer like that whatever he was going to tell me was probably going to upset me.

“You look fat,” he flatly stated then attempted, again, to convince me I should hire him.

I, politely, replied with a big fat “NO!”

299 thoughts on “Fat”

  1. I don’t even know the way I stopped up here, but I believed this submit used to be good. I don’t understand who you might be but certainly you’re going to a well-known blogger for those who aren’t already. Cheers!

  2. Excellent article. Keep posting such kind of info on your site. Im really impressed by your site.
    Hi there, You have performed an excellent job. I will certainly digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I’m sure they will be benefited from this web site.

  3. Howdy! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO?
    I’m trying to get my site to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good
    results. If you know of any please share.
    Cheers! I saw similar blog here: Eco product

  4. Principles of pharmacogenomics priligy reviews inhibits the conversion of testosterone to estrogen that will address primarily estrogen resulting from any exogeneous test you might be injecting or, on a very small level, the conversion of testosterone from the adrenals

  5. This is really interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your magnificent post. Also, I’ve shared your website in my social networks!

  6. I’ll immediately clutch your rss feed as I can’t find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly allow me recognize in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  7. I’m amazed, I have to admit. Rarely do I encounter a blog that’s equally educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is an issue that too few people are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy I stumbled across this in my search for something regarding this.

  8. Simply want to say your article is as surprising. The clearness in your post is simply nice and i could assume you’re an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the gratifying work.

  9. We’re a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your site offered us with valuable information to work on. You have done a formidable job and our entire community will be grateful to you.

  10. hello there and thank you for your information – I have certainly picked up something new from right here. I did however expertise some technical issues using this website, as I experienced to reload the website many times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will often affect your placement in google and could damage your quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Well I am adding this RSS to my email and can look out for a lot more of your respective exciting content. Make sure you update this again very soon.

  11. Howdy! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Wonderful blog and superb style and design.

  12. After I initially commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I receive four emails with the same comment. Is there a means you are able to remove me from that service? Appreciate it!

  13. Wonderful blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m totally confused .. Any ideas? Cheers!

  14. hi!,I love your writing very a lot! proportion we keep up a correspondence extra about your post on AOL? I need a specialist in this house to solve my problem. May be that’s you! Having a look forward to peer you.

  15. Good day! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa? My site discusses a lot of the same topics as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Great blog by the way!

  16. Hi there I am so excited I found your web site, I really found you by accident, while I was searching on Digg for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say kudos for a remarkable post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the minute but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the excellent work.

  17. Thanks for every other excellent article. Where else may anyone get that kind of information in such a perfect manner of writing? I have a presentation subsequent week, and I’m on the search for such information.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *