The holidays aren’t complete without a celebration at my house. Being that we did a Griswold theme last year, we opted for something a little more wHOlesome this year – a Pimp n’ Ho-liday soirée.
Costumes were, of course, a must and Rated R and I were more than ready with our heather gray sweats. As we prepared them in my room – cutting the tops short so our bellies would be exposed – she posed a question, “Should we cut off the sleeves?” “I had sleeves when I was investigated,” I told her. “Well then we better leave them on,” she replied. Once dressed we grabbed our cardboard signs, ‘One on the way – I’ll make your day’ and ‘Single Mom – Anything helps – $5/min’ and we were ready for business.
The guests started arriving and MiniMe was ready to track their drinking activity as the ‘Tally (Ho!)’ for the evening. That’s Not Chinese, who was donning law enforcement tagged sweats, mug and handcuffs, had a drink or two prior to arriving so her points were already adding up.
Also adding up were the numbers of hos at the party – this was one busy corner. Luckily, the only officer (so far) was That’s Not Chinese and she was busy drinking and probably started seeing as many pimps as the rest of us – three. Just as she and Unfazed decided to evade arrest and subsequent prosecution by heading home, Fat Girl arrived in a black and blue ponytail wig, stripper heels, hot pink hot pants that revealed crack and a mesh ‘top.’ “This is a laundry bag. Can you believe it? It probably smells like dirty socks. Yep, it does. And check this out,” he said the pulled the drawstring that was mid-thigh, “This shop is closed for business. Open. Closed. Open. Closed.”
This pimp n’ ho-liday was definitely turning out to be off the hook….er.