After successfully crossing the border YumYummy and I had drinks in Niagara and then headed to Waterdown for drinks with Sweller. Let the eating and drinking games begin!
We met at The American House where Sweller graciously provided a welcome, “Welcome to The American House, the oldest hotel in North America.” He paused a moment and then added, “Canada. North America, Canada. Welcome.”
From there we went to YumYummy’s, caught up on current events and Sweller provided a few isms – some his own, others, well, others.
“The empty can rattles the loudest.”
“What’s that one quote? You know the one, from Ferris Bueller.”
“Discriminating is like swimming upriver.”
“Just because other people have a problem doesn’t mean I have to make it mine.”
The isms continued throughout my stay. As we were sitting at a stoplight he said to another driver, “Get off your apple, bitch.” “Was she on her phone?” I asked. “No, she was eating an apple,” he replied. A few blocks later, “Look at that asshole with the balloons. Oh, wait, I know him. He’s having a garage sale. We should stop by.” As we looked for parking one evening YumYummy made a suggestion, “We can park at Ontario Place parking lot.” “Why? It will be like a parking lot,” he replied. “It is a parking lot,” YumYummy countered. It was at this time that Sweller told us he used to say he had “heartworm” instead of heartburn. “I also used to go to a store that gave out free samples and ask, ‘May I please have an example?’ The guy would reply, ‘Example? You need a role model!'”
A role model might have been helpful, especially when purchasing candy. Sweller loves jujubes and as we entered a bulk candy store he told us he planned to buy some. He filled up a sack and then informed YumYummy and I that the sign had a typo, “They spelled it wrong.” “What?” we asked. “It should be j-e-w jubes,” he advised. “No, no. That’s not right,” I replied. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Yes,” I said. “Really? I thought the Jews invented them,” was his reply.
To quote Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Or, in this case, misspell it.