It’s what I DOS

My part-time job is a lot like my full-time job if my full-time job was featured in a movie scene.

 

I did the math the other night, both with an actual calculator and in my head, and both jobs are sixes, times two. I’ve got twelve years until I can retire at my full-time job and I’ve been at my part-time job for 12 years. I did the math again and, at the part-time job, I make less hourly than the amount of time I’ve been there. Clearly, I should have done the math a long time ago – this is not my most profitable option.

 

Anyway, I digress, let’s get back to the part about the movie scene. Technology is key in this day and age and, as a result, I know several programs and software systems. More importantly, I know the right people to call when I’m having problems with any of my programs and software systems. This is especially important at my part-time job when my port locks, but let’s first talk about what happens prior to it locking.

 

I DOS work part-time. Literally, I work on a disk operating system, more affectionately known as DOS. If you didn’t use computers until the late nineties you might not be aware of this fine technology. If you did, you might understand why my employer still uses the system. Emphasis on might. DOS takes a lot of keystrokes to complete a task. You’d like to update your ten-digit phone number? No problem, that will take a minimum of 35 keystrokes. Have a question about a recent purchase? 400 keystrokes later I might have an answer.

 

While recently assisting a customer she inquired about what I was typing. “Your phone number, as requested. Do you feel like you’re in a movie scene at a government office?” I replied. “Yes, actually, I do.” “DOS, it’s what I do. Or, should I say, it’s what I DOS. Makes sense, the eighties are making a comeback,” I informed her. “That’s true,” she replied and asked, “Where can someone get banana clips these days?” I made a few suggestions but, unfortunately, couldn’t do a quick internet search for her for two reasons 1) my port had locked – two many people in her DOS account at one time and 2) DOS only, no access to the web. I’m not the best at math but those two reasons seem reason enough to move to a new system.

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