Friggatriskaidekaphobia

If there is a word or an entire language that I don’t know, I love to try and speak it – not just with my mouth, I throw my arms into the mix as well.

Such is the case with friggatriskaidekaphobia which, according to Wikipedia, is another way of saying Friday the 13th. If you can’t pull the trigga on frigga, try saying paraskevidekatriaphobia. Neither are easy to say, thus,  if you’re not armlingual like myself, I suggest you just stick to what you can handle. Unless, of course, you have a fear of that too.

I’m not a superstitious person, so when this day arrives I conduct my business as usual – full of spontaneity with lots of time to relax and a regular amount of unbalance. The Chinese would most likely be in support of my reaction because they believe the number 13 to be lucky. To fear this number, well, as That’s Not Chinese might say, “That’s not Chinese.”

Westerners (not the movies, the people) are to blame for this unfortunate situation. This ‘situation’ often results in no 13th floor or row in certain hotels, buildings, theaters or airplanes. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, actually, I love it, but 13 still exists in those situations, it is just disguised as 14. Westerners can be so foolish, it’s no wonder we have phobias. Yet, we have no problem comforting ourselves and attempting to calm our fears with a baker’s dozen of donuts. If you’ve ordered the baker’s dozen you know exactly what I’m talking about you devil dancer you. You purposely ordered the devil’s dozen hoping to get not 12, but 13 donuts. A phenomenon known, by me, as lucky unlucky luck. Fun fact: every now and again the baker’s dozen is 14, not 13, donuts. Again, 13 disguised as 14. Clever? Lucky? Unlucky? Maybe. Science would probably break it down to two causes: 1) Kindness 2) Public education. Public education + one dozen donuts = 13. Bad luck, no?

Turns out Westerners aren’t the only people with silly fears related to days of the week and numbers. Many Spanish-speaking countries and the Greeks consider Tuesday, especially Tuesday the 13th, an unlucky day. Shouldn’t Monday be the day we fear? We already dread it, why can’t we just fear it? That might provide a supported reason to not report to work after a long weekend. “Sorry boss, I won’t be coming in today. I’ve got monedaeivergophobia.” Like most reasons given when one calls in sick to work, I made this up. It’s a combination of the Old English version of Monday and the phrase ergophobia (fear of work). I added a ‘v’ to the mix, not for good luck or good measure, rather, because it makes it easier to say and, I believe, makes it look more official.

Beware, however, because if  you call in sick on Monday you’ll still have Tuesday looming. The Greeks fear Tuesday, with or without the 13th attached to it. Triti, that’s Tuesday to you non armlingual folks, is the third day of the week and is considered bad luck because it is believed that bad things come in threes. I would agree with the latter. Adding a third party to the bedroom never ends well and, like monedaeivergophobia, there isn’t a topical cream that can cure the trouble it may bring.