I recently returned home to find a man sitting next to his crotch rocket in front of my neighbor’s house. I didn’t think much of it until three police cars, a fire truck and an ambulance pulled up.
With my Gladys Kravitz (that’s Bewitched lingo for nosy neighbor) in full force, I took a seat on my stoop and watched the incident unfold – light activity in a sling at it’s finest. Within a few minutes, the man’s friends arrived to retrieve him, however, it appeared the first responders did not want them to approach the scene. I picked up on this when they told them, “Stand back.” As I watched the first responders wrap his hands in gauze (is that a HIPAA violation?) I realized he wouldn’t be driving his crotch rocket anywhere anytime soon so I approached his friends and offered my back 40 as a place to temporarily store it. It was about this time that the first responders began leaving the scene and I retreated indoors – Ellen was about to start and I didn’t want to miss any of it.
I stood up to refresh my drink when I noticed one police officer/car was still on scene and the injured man was helping his friend try to jimmy the lock of the car. I snapped a picture, posted it on Instagram, and then stepped outside to get the scoop. Turns out they locked their keys in the car. With only a month left of my not yet used AAA lockout assistance, I offered it to them. In exchange, I learned the facts.
“What happened?” I asked. “You are not cop so I tell you truth.” Turns out he was trying to go a little faster, accidentally popped a wheelie, and the bike landed on him. “He has bucket list to do before marrying girl. He wants to ride motorcycle for one month. He ride four times and crash,” his friend informed me and laughed. “You may need to revise your bucket list,” I advised.
It was about this time, and as they were relaxing on my rock wall and enjoying the glasses of ice water I provided them, when Ice Cream Man drove up to retrieve me for happy hour with Sleepless. Ice Cream Man joined me on the stoop and we learned a little more – he has not yet met the girl he is going to marry. Within minutes of learning this, AAA arrived, quickly gained access to their vehicle and the injured man and his friends promised me Eastern European food and huka for my kindness. I handed them a list of local clinics, emergency care facilities, and contact information for my orthopedic surgeon.
I may not be a cop, but thanks to my mad Gladys Kravitz skills I can solve a case in less time than Frank Drebin (Google it, if you must), all the while still obeying doctor’s orders – light activity in a sling.