Booty Call Carolers

Oreggano, Respectable Professional and I met up with MyFace and her work friends for happy hours – yes, with us, it is plural. Also joining us was our friend whose first date we crashed. “Guess what I found out? He’s married! Married! I’m meeting another guy tonight, he’ll be coming here.” “Wait, is this another first date we’ll be on with you?” Oreggano asked. “Yes,” she replied. “Awkward is becoming the norm,” I interjected.

Once everyone was at the table, first date excluded because this would have been really awkward, we decided introductions were in order. Instead of just saying who we were and our profession we decided it would be nice to also mention the last time sex was had. As we did introductions cheers and applause increased and I had a feeling what happened soon after might happen: the manager checked in on us and then told us other patrons had asked if we could keep it down. Based on all of our last sexual encounters, getting it up was our strength, not keeping it down. After the manager walked away Oreggano loudly told the table, “Do you know how many times we’ve (the we with her being me) been told we’re too late? Please.” “I wouldn’t mind getting kicked out, especially before paying,” I replied. Always classy, often trashy.

Right soon after this incident, Respectable Professional received a text and advised us it was time to go, “I’ve got to go make the last time I had sex more recent.” “Was that a booty call?” Oreggano asked. “Yes,” Respectable Professional replied with a Cheshire cat smile. She had been quite tight lipped (pun intended…remember, often trashy) about her booty call and the only thing we knew about him is that he lived just around the mountain from her.  With this information in mind, I started singing, “She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she cums.” “When she cums!” Oreggano piped in and added, “Don’t make us follow you to find out more about him!” “Good idea,” I told Oreggano and then added upon her brilliance, “Once we get there we can knock on the door and start singing, ‘She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she cums!'” Once I got to the song part, others at the table chimed in. “This is great! We can be the Booty Call Carolers! We’re going to need a few more songs.”

Booty Call Carolers ‘Set’ List:

She’ll Be Coming ‘Round the Mountain – The Wiggles

Booty Call – G. Love

Call Me – Too $hort ft. Lil’ Kim

Booty Call – Ke$ha

Late Night Call aka I’m Horny – Soulja Boy

Call Me – Skyy

Booty Call – Fast Eddie

Call – Ashanti

Need You Now – Lady Antebellum (this one will bring back the ‘romance’ a bit)