For most people, BFF stands for Best Friends Forever. I’m not most people.
I often chat with my friends about different events and circumstances impacting the lives of our friends and other people. We’re often catty, sometimes sympathetic (please don’t tell MiniMe – she thinks I completely lack emotion), and regularly inappropriate.
One day, while being catty with Q and her coworker, I advised them it was likely I will be jinxed because of my comments. “What do you mean?” her coworker asked. “I mean I will probably end up a blind, near death, tramp with disabilities,” I explained. “Oh, I’ll be right there with you, but I may be deaf, not blind,” the coworker replied. Just like a BFF, no? Yes. And no.
Why no? Because BFF stands for Big Fat Fuck. Right, there I go again, being inappropriate. Except, I didn’t come up with that one, Live Longer did. She was recently telling me about someone who died and when I inquired about the cause of death she said, “He died because he was a big fat fuck.” Good one BFF – this time, that stands for bitchy friend forever.