Vivid Welcome

With Sundance Film Festival just around the corner, YumYummy decided to make her big debut. Wanting her and her boys to feel extremely welcome, we decided to greet her at the airport. She knew we did such things and only had one request, that we had a sign which read, ‘Been there, done that.’

As we prepared the sign, we also prepared ourselves. Live Longer brought her bag of wigs and Sleepless, Live Longer and I picked the wigs that we felt were most appropriate for the occasion – Live Longer donned the infamous afro, Sleepless chose a platinum white with two ponytails and I opted for the vivid blue with pony tails. I then equipped the three of us with hooker boots (which also double as stylish boots depending on the outfit), sunglasses, and tight fitting coats that screamed, “Oh, oh, oh!” Just like in the movies.

Tree and Ice Cream Man opted for caps, scarves and moustaches. “I’m the director,” Tree advised. “Can you be the driver?” I asked Ice Cream Man whose cap was a mix between chauffeur and Captain Stubbing. “I can do that,” he replied causing half of his moustache to pop off.

We hopped in the car and headed to the airport. On the way there we discovered their plane had landed early, thus, we wouldn’t be able to be waiting for them at the baggage carousel. Not wanting to let this snafu get in our way, we decided we would just meet them at the baggage carousel, sign in hand.

Thus, approximately fifteen minutes after they arrived – or as they say in the industry, after their ‘premature ejaculation’ – we entered the scene, stage right, puffed and fluffed, and turned the baggage carousel into the Adult Entertainment Industry (AEI) red carpet. Ice Cream Man proudly held up the sign which read, ‘Vivid Video welcomes AEI stars YumYummy, Keller the Sweller and Up & Comer [um? sp?] Leave it to Stever! Been There, Done That!’ and we all descended on them like camera man hoping for a close-up of the money shot.

The welcome was like many endings, quite climatic, and, like so many other film celebrities, people were watching us and cameras were flashing. At least one camera, anyway, we brought ours along to capture every moment. Once we returned to the car Tree asked Live Longer, “Do your curtains match your carpet?” “Her curtains match my carpet,” I answered. “Gross,” he replied, then said, “We need to stop at the store to pick up limes. Do what I say, I’m the director.” And with that, we were off and running to do what most film stars do – live normal lives. Except, nothing is normal about our lives, which is no surprise considering #imverypopularoninstagram.