So Sundance

Sundance Film Festival is notorious for featuring films and documentaries that leave one saying, “WTF?” “Was that seriously the ending?” or “I had no idea my (dysfunctional) family allowed film crews to follow them around.”  This is why I love Sundance. For others, this is why crisis counselors should be available in the lobby both during and after the screenings.

Beaner and Live Longer had never been to a Sundance movie, so it was a great honor to be with them while they were deflowered. As is necessary with Sundance, we arrived an hour before the film and took our positions in the front of the line. Fortunately, we arrived in time to secure three of the six chairs they had available for ticket holders. Being, however, that there were four of us (Tree was also there for the deflowering), we were short one chair. “I can squat, my people are good at that,” Live Longer told us. “Are Asians known for squatting?” I asked. “Well, we’re known for being able to do it,” she replied. That may be next year’s big film: White People Can’t Squat. Rosie Perez can play the squatting Asian. I realize she isn’t Asian, but they call it ‘acting’ for a reason. If you don’t believe me, watch Tropic Thunder.

Once we were in the theater and seated, a Sundance reps advised the audience that the director might be joining us after for Q&A. “So Sundance,” I told Beaner and Live Longer. As we watched the film, and the intensity/Sundancy increased, both Beaner and Tree were on the edge of their seats. The film ended without ending, so Sundance, and we discovered the director would not be joining us. “It’s a good thing he isn’t here because I have a question for him, ‘WTF were you thinking?'” Live Longer told us. “For a minute I thought I might throw up,” Beaner said. “I got a little anxious,” Tree said.

Thus, Sundance was a success because, like most deflowerings, it was slightly uncomfortable. So Sundance.