My MPAA rating

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I think ‘Airplane’ should be a movie option on all flights. Being that it isn’t, and never has been, an option any of the times I’ve flown, I end up watching the random movies selected by the airlines. I often find the airlines’ selections interesting because they have to be both entertaining and ‘family friendly,’ per say.

As I was watching one movie, rated PG-13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13), and the sex scene ended as quickly as it began, I was reminded of my personal sex life and thought to myself, “I’m a sex scene from a PG-13 movie.” Just like some people appear to have the Photoshop crew with them at all times, I appear to have the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) with me during ‘intimate’ moments and they appear to love the PG-13 rating for these occasions. Movies are rated PG-13 for a variety of reasons, one being ‘more than brief nudity…..but such nudity in a PG-13 rated motion picture generally will not be sexually oriented.’ Welcome to my sex life.

There are times, however, when MPAA probably would have rated my intimacy ‘Restricted (R). Children Under 17 Require Accompanying Parent or Adult Guardian,’ due to ‘sexually-oriented nudity;’ like in the movie The Sessions. If you haven’t seen this movie, you should. One, it is quite good. Two, it reminds me of my most recent sexual encounter in which my partner said, “I am like your slave,” and then did nothing while I did all of the work (clearly he does not understand the term ‘slave’) – he literally appeared to be, and ultimately was,  unable to participate/perform accordingly. As a result, our MPAA rating quickly moved from ‘R’ to ‘G,’ for ‘General Audiences,’ definitely not to be confused with g-spot.