It has been one year since Wilson Phillips played, free of charge, at our State Fair. This year, after last year’s great turnout and the success of Bridesmaids, they’re returning to the fair and are no longer free. Wanting to experience the same goodness we did last year, and respectful of the need to capitalize on their popularity, we purchased front row tickets – seventeen of them.
As we discussed whether or not we would dress up for the event – which is very rarely a ‘not’ and most often a ‘what to wear’ – we considered 80s fashion. Being that 80s fashion is an easy go-to, and the fact that many of today’s styles are 80ish, I suggested something a little more formal: bridesmaids dresses. I figured most of us had dresses we have only worn once and there was no point in holding on to that dress for one more day if we weren’t going to wear it. For those of us who didn’t have bridesmaids dresses, secondhand shops were ready and waiting.
Thus, Tree and I set out to find the perfect dress. As we were finding dresses to try on, several patrons were watching and smiling. “Won’t he look pretty in those dresses,” I said. They giggled and kept walking. “I’m so excited,” Tree exclaimed. “I cannot wait to wear a dress to the fair!” After trying on a few dresses I was quickly reminded of how small bridesmaids dresses can be. Fortunately, I eventually found one that, with assistance, zipped up all the way. Turns out Tree had the same problem. “I’ll either figure out how to get it to zip up all the way or just wear it partly unzipped,” he advised. We’re classy like that. We continued to browse and I saw an exquisite purple taffeta gown hanging on the wall. They took it down for us and I tried it on. It actually fit me pretty good and, deep breathes, was a size 24. “This is ridiculous,” I told Tree and added, “Let’s pay for these dresses and then go get something to eat. Clearly, I’m starving.”
We ended up at a ma and pa Mexican restaurant on the West side of town and, less than a half hour after eating, Tree advised me he had heartburn. Luckily, we both made it home without having to defecate in a sink or on the street while donning our new gowns, but Tree’s stomach was definitely growling, “Release me.”