I’ve been selling one of my cars for a couple of years now. Clearly, my marketing technique (leave it parked in the back ‘lot’ and don’t advertise it), is ineffective. I recently decided to change it up a bit by posting an online ad, as a result, have had a few interested buyers.
My most recent ‘serious buyer’ arrived with his three sons to test drive the car so I grabbed the car key and Baby Q and pulled the door to my house shut. It was at this exact moment that I realized I had just locked us out of the house. “I can help you try and break in if you want,” the serious buyer offered. “Go ahead and take the car and I’ll see if I can’t figure something out while you’re gone,” I replied.
While they were gone, Baby Q and I visited neighbors – using their phones, drinking their ‘juice,’ and eating their chocolate (thank you Alice). We even stumbled upon an abandoned shopping cart and, realizing we wouldn’t be getting back in the house any time soon, I placed Baby Q inside and told her, “Welcome home(less).”
The serious buyer returned and again offered to help me break into my home. “We can try opening the door with a credit card,” he said. “How do you know how to do that?” I asked. “I’m a realtor,” he replied. Opreggano has never shared these real estate skills with me. Unbelievable. Unfortunately, the credit card trick didn’t work. His son, all of eight or so years old, also made an offer, “I can kick it in.”
We opted against attempting to kick the door in and returned to the ‘lot’ to discuss the vehicle. It was at this time that the other children began playing with the padlock on my shed. Last year, I lost the key and had to cut off the padlock. In an attempt to prevent that this year, S-Unit gave me a padlock with a word combination. A word combination I have forgotten. As a result, the boys were trying to figure it out for me. The eight year old approached me and asked, “Do you have a sander?” “Are you thinking you might try to sand off the lock?” I asked him. “Yep,” he confidently replied. “I don’t know what he watches to learn this stuff,” his dad said in response to his comments. I thought to myself, “You?”