March has somehow become the month for moustaches. In my ‘research,’ I have found there are many reasons for this madness, with the primary reason being public awareness.
As is the case for most, though not all, females, I cannot grow a moustache. Thus, I have officially renamed March. February and January are the only -uary months and, because good things come in three, I have decided to call March Muffuary – a month dedicated to the muff. I consider it a pubic awareness campaign of sorts.
In support of this month, I stopped shaving. Doing so has definitely has increased my own pubic awareness. Like I told Sleepless and Standard Time while getting ready for a big night on the town, “Muffuary is a crazy time. My pants no longer fit. Look at me. I look like Miranda in a bikini. Crazy. I’m saving up for a Brazilian – in more way than one.”
Until I’ve got enough money and muff, I’ll just bide my time, wear skirts, and do my best to increase pubic awareness. I don’t plan to do anything crazy, like a handlebar muffstache, but I am considering taking a nude cooking class – hopefully they’ll have beard nets.