Don’t Move. Stop Breathing.

I love getting my picture taken, conversely, I love taking pictures. I prefer a mix of both candid and staged shots, unlike Drizzler, who prefers staged candid shots. There are times, when I am taking the pictures, that I will provide friendly advice to my subjects, such as, “Open your eyes this time,” or “Try and look sexy.” Sleepless loves the latter.

Recently, I had the privilege of participating in a very special photo shoot of sorts, where I was the subject of the photos, not the photographer. As I read through the ‘contract,’ I learned I would get this opportunity every one to two years for the rest of my life. Wanting to leave a good and lasting impression with the ‘photographer,’ I put my best breast forward and got ready to smile for the camera.

Much like when I take pictures, she had an idea in mind as to what she wanted to capture. Thus, she staged the shot with great detail, “Left foot on the footprint, scoot your body in, breast on the shelf, turn your head slightly to the left while keeping your body straight, now relax your arm.” While I was following her directions, she was pushing, squishing and adjusting my  tissue in an attempt to get the best view. “This pose feels totally natural,” I told her. “Good. OK, don’t move. Stop breathing. Perfect,” she replied.

We did this again on my other side and, after less than ten minutes, I had completed my first mammogram. I’m not sure how everything will turn out, but I firmly believe I gave it my breast shot.