Alice makes a mean sourdough bread. After having her bring it to my house, hot, two weeks in a row, I decided it was time for me to learn how to make it.
That’s Not Chinese and Bitchin’ Camaro wanted in on the mix, literally, so we met up at Alice’s house to bake a loaf and make starters. Even though Alice was anxious to get started, That’s Not Chinese, Bitchin’ Camaro and I wanted to relax, have some wine, snack a little, and then learn the tricks of Alice’s artisan trade. A little foreplay, per say.
This made Alice a little anxious because she was more than ready to begin the conception efforts. Thus, we forewent most of the foreplay and did what was kneaded. After providing us very detailed instruction, Alice put her bun in the oven. As it baked, our starters grew and grew.
That’s Not Chinese decided she needed to go to the bathroom and, as she started making her way there, Alice advised us the ‘WC’ on the bathroom door was pronounced, “dooba la chay.” “It’s French. Dooba la chay. That is how they say water closet in France,” she told us. “They don’t say water closet in France,” That’s Not Chinese told her. “Yes, yes they do,” Alice said with confidence. “No, they don’t,” That’s Not Chinese assured her. “I think she’s right on this one, but I’ll check with Maverik Midget King,” I said and then placed a call to France. I should have selected ’50/50′ instead of ‘Phone a Friend,’ because he didn’t answer.
Bitchin’ Camaro also has a French speaking friend, so she phoned her and left a message inquiring about WC. “Are you sure the way you’re saying it isn’t Italian?” I asked Alice. “Look, I can’t make this shit up,” she replied. “But you did,” Bitchin’ Camaro told her. “She’s right about that,” I told Alice. “If I could kick your ass right now, I would. Maybe I should my trampoline back,” she told me. “You had a trampoline?” I asked. “Yes, but trampolines aren’t for adults – they’re for kids. Black eyes and bloody noses were all I ever got out of it,” she said with great seriousness. “Maybe I should get a trampoline. Or should I get a pool?” I asked. “Get a pool and then I’ll be the tramp because I’ve got the stamp,” Bitchin’ Camaro told me.
Bitchin’ Camaro then took her starter baby, which was growing at dooba la the rate that mine and That’s Not Chinese’s babies were growing, and headed home. A few minutes after leaving, she phoned to advise us that Alice was, in fact, incorrect about the French WC. “I can’t stand to be wrong,” Alice told us and then said, “We have to do this again soon!” “If we do it, I think we need a club name,” I advised. “How about Dooba La Chay?” That’s Not Chinese suggested. “Perfect! Let’s spell it ‘W-C,” I quipped.