Not wanting to make too big a deal out of last year’s end and this year’s start, I considered starting a fundraising campaign – much like Wikipedia’s – asking for money to keep me afloat for another year. Why? You might ask. Well, like Wikipedia, your support (yes, all four of my readers) is how I pay my bills. Unlike Wikipedia, I am not the #5 most-popular site in the world. As I browsed through some pictures from last year, however, I determined that I am a sight to see – as are my friends (many who are also known as the ‘four readers’).
Just as I was about to start my fundraising campaign, I was joined by That’s Not Chinese for a mellow evening of dining, drinking and watching movies. Being that our celebrations would be minimal (no campaign money), I purchased a few items from the holiday clearance section. As I was showing her our special shirts for the evening she noticed some of the other items. “Uh, what are those?” “Clearance chocolates,” I proudly replied.
With our “Happy New Year” t-shirts, wine and clearance chocolates in hand, we watched a little bit (the entire 90 minutes) of Grey Gardens. “Wow,” seemed to be That’s Not Chinese’s most common response to the show. As soon as it ended, she began singing, “Tea for two and two for tea…” Next thing you know, we went from watching movies to making movies with our special tribute to Edie and Edie. As we were on the second or third take of Tea for Two, That’s Not Chinese lost her composure. “I’m peeing and crying at the same time,” she said while doubled over and making her way to the bathroom. I have a feeling she’ll resolve not to do that again next year, however, as Big Edie once said when the cat peed on the picture, “..at least someone is doing what they want.”
When That’s Not Chinese resolved her situation, we began watching Midnight in Paris. We figured if we couldn’t be in Paris physically, we might as well be there digitally. “Why don’t we live in Paris?” she asked. I made a quick assessment of the perimeter and replied, “Because we have really great furniture?” With the exception of wanting to live somewhere else within the next year, I really don’t have anything I need to resolve in 2012. I did, however, have something to resolve in 2011 – my 1999 bottle of Dom Perignon, courtesy of S-Unit.
Thus, That’s Not Chinese and I popped open the bubbly and headed outside to enjoy the neighborhood fireworks. As soon as the other neighbors saw we had Dom, they were either guzzling or dumping out their champagne to have some of ours. With at least five Dom carrying neighbors in tow, we walked to Alice’s house to wish her a happy and loud new year. Just as we approached her house, a light went out and a lightbulb in our heads went on. “She’s home,” one of the neighbors shouted. And so began the new year, much like many other years, with me and a bunch of my friends on the stoop of another friend’s home – drinks in hand.