Per minute

Skiwi has a friend in from out of town – who flew in from New Zealand for work-related training and expensive telephone conversations – and, in proper ‘good host’ fashion, Skiwi planned several events for him.

While staying at what many would consider a prime or choice hotel, he phoned home each day. He knew it would be expensive and stayed within his 15-minute limit – which is a long time for some people, so he was very surprised to find his long distance phone calls were $30 per minute.  “Are you sure you weren’t calling a 900 number?” Sleepless asked. “Yes. I was phoning home,” $30/Minute told her. “You should have watched porn for that price,” Sleepless advised him. “You should have just flown home and had the conversation in person. It would have cost the same,” Ice Cream Man advised. Always so practical. Even in times like these, Ice Cream Man doesn’t melt under pressure.

Although $30/Minute had only been in town a few days, Skiwi was jonesin’ for some lovin’ with DDDG and had no qualms about letting everyone know. “Unlike these two,” Skiwi said while gesturing toward Ice Cream Man and Sleepless, “DDDG doesn’t like to get busy when we have guests. I plan to tend to her needs as soon as I drop him ($30/Minute) off at the airport,” Skiwi told us. “I plan to extend my stay,” $30/Minute told Skiwi. “No. No you don’t,” Skiwi firmly replied. “I can leave for five minutes if you’d like,” $30/Minute offered to Skiwi and then said to me, “Actually, I’ll probably only need to leave for three minutes – during which time they can have sex twice.”

If anyone would know anything about minutes, it would be $30/Minute, and he continued to provide us details about his stay with Skiwi and DDDG, “Pretty sure Skiwi was having a toss earlier.” “A what?” Ice Cream asked and added, “Sorry, I don’t speak Kiwi.”  “A toss,” $30/Minute repeated. “Oh, toss,” Ice Cream Man repeated. He may n0t speak Kiwi, but there is no toss up over the term ‘toss.’ That is one term that can be learned for less than $30 per minute – regardless of the continent.