After several drinks and a couple of rounds of Catch Phrase with Fine Girl, Big Hoops and Dirty Martini, it was determined I would be spending the night. “I’ve got a bed ready for you. Pajamas and all,” Fine Girl informed me. “Really? You won’t mind if I wake up early in the morning and sneak out like a one-night stand?” I asked. “Not at all,” Fine Girl replied. “I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Big Hoops quipped.
So, three hours after laying my head down to rest, I got up, drove home, parked in front of my house, and did the walk of shame from the street to my front door. Within seconds of arriving home, Opreggano was knocking at the front door. She noticed I was wearing the same thing I had on the day before and asked, “Did you just wake up?” “In a way. I actually just got home,” I told her.
We had big plans for a yard sale and had signs to hang and coffee to purchase prior to the 8 o’clock start time. “I say wear what you have on and let’s go,” she told me. Not wanting to mess with a pregnant woman, I agreed.
Once The Leaver arrived, we arranged our goods and took a seat on the stoop. Just before The Leaver sat down, I reached down and pulled out a few loose nails. “I don’t want anybody to get hurt,” I said to Opreggano. “Good idea. I have a bruise on my ass from sitting on one last week,” Opreggano informed me.
We were all sitting comfortably on the stoop when a customer posed a question. The Leaver jumped up to provide an answer and we heard a massive rip. I looked at the stoop, The Leaver looked at her shorts, and Opreggano looked at the stoop, the rip in The Leaver’s shorts and then at me. “Oops, looks like I missed a nail,” I replied and then pulled that nail out of the wood. “These are my best shorts,” The Leaver told us. “They’re ripped in the front too,” Opreggano told her. “I know and they’re still my best,” The Leaver replied.
A little while later, we were discussing our yard sale earnings. “Maybe you’ll have enough to buy a new pair of shorts,” Opreggano told The Leaver. “You guys, what happened to me? I used to be a world class athlete and never had to worry about money. I retired at 28,” The Leaver told us. “That might have been a bit premature,” Opreggano advised her. “I think you’re right. I may have to come out of retirement,” The Leaver replied.
Once we closed up shop, I met Wanted at the pool – still wearing the dress from the night before, this time as a swimsuit cover-up. After several hours poolside, we headed to her house, took showers and decided on plans for the evening. After much contemplation, we opted to stay in, drink wine and watch a movie.
Being that I hadn’t slept long the night before, I was a bit tired. We had plans for breakfast in the morning, so I ended up staying the night at her house.
In the morning, I brushed my teeth, gave my hair a good shake, put on some fresh deodorant, and got back in the dress I had worn Friday and Saturday. Although the dress I had worn the night before was both clean and cute, my boobs were wearing the hell out of it, so I gave it to Wanted.
Thus, I did the walk of shame in the same dress, different houses, two nights in a row. Bam!