Liquefaction

With a holiday weekend upon us, Oreggano planned an afternoon tea – sans tea, sandwiches, scones or Battenberg cake. She did, however, have a lovely sesame baked cream cheese, complete with crackers, pears and apples. To top it off, a glass of white wine.

Soon after gathering around the table, Patty Melt grabbed an ice pack and elevated her foot. MiniMe then took her swollen and healing foot out of her boot and did the same. “What happened to your foot?” I asked Patty Melt. “Make-A-Wish,” she replied. “What was  your wish?” I inquired while checking out the huge gash in her ankle and the massive swelling of her foot. Turns out her foot fell off her pedal while at a Make-A-Wish event and, sadly, got completely torn up. “You and MiniMe truly are mother and daughter.”

“About that,” said Oreggano. “I’ve been thinking about it, and Patty Melt and I have been talking, and we think you should change her blog name to BioMom.” “Is that so? Well, although it makes sense, don’t you think the process should be more official?” I asked and added. “Maybe include notifying the government?” A legal name change is a pretty big deal and, in the states and perhaps other countries, there are rules to follow. For example, you can’t choose a name that violates trademark, includes numbers, implies a racial slur, intends to mislead, or contains obscene words. Luckily, for BioMom, I have ‘judicial discretion’ and, despite knowing she prefers to put children in bags of rocks and throw them in the river, granted her the change.

“That reminds me,” BioMom interjected. “Not using words correctly is one of my biggest pet peeves. Like, liquefaction. It is not water shooting out of the ground.” Not necessarily catching the segway, and not knowing the meaning of ‘liquefaction,’ I had to ask for clarification.

“It refers to what happens to soil during an earthquake,” BioMom advised me and continued with vivid details about liquefaction. She was pretty upset by the fact that her professor had incorrectly defined the word and process. Her passion was similar to that which MiniMe often displays, thus, justifying ‘BioMom.’ At the same time, however, this was so upsetting to her that she was having what one might consider a ‘Patty Meltdown.’ “If you keep up this liquefacting,” I told her, “I may change your name back to Patty Melt.”