After several days on the road with Miss Information, I came home and fed my addiction – I went straight to the library. After retrieving multiple CDs (some fabulous 8os gems), books and movies, I promised to pay my overdue fines on the next visit and headed home.
Once at home, I got busy doing things in the backroom when I heard someone calling out my name. I stepped out to find Tree in my front room – a lovely homecoming. I had spoken with Tree earlier and he had discussed the possibility of stopping by. He also expressed more concerns about the blog. “In the blog, it appears as though I am an asshole, even though I am being an asshole, I don’t want people to get the impression that I am actually an asshole,” he told me. “I wouldn’t worry about it, because even if you are an asshole or just being an asshole, I like it,” I advised him.
After running a quick errand while listening to and belting out Whitesnake, Here I Am Again On My Own, Tree and I took our positions on the porch. As usual, the neighborhood activity gave us plenty to talk about. I shared a story with Tree about a neighbor who once mentioned that she wished someone would hold her hand in public. Tree, not always an asshole, agreed to walk down the street with me – while holding my hand – should I ever desire.
“Have I told you my new plan?” Tree asked me. “No,” I replied. “I’ve decided to poop my way to pretty,” he informed me. “That sounds great. How do you plan to make that happen?” “I’m not sure. How do you spell ‘diuretic’?” he asked. I provided him the spelling and then suggested that, instead of diuretics, he might just want to try the pinworm diet.