CounterCat decided to leave her warm and sunny state to ring in the new year in a cold, wet and snowy environment. Immediately after picking her up from the airport we stopped at Dr. BJ’s house to find Passed The Sniff Test and Not Skirt Chaser. Within seconds of being there they informed me I had referred to Not Skirt Chaser as Skirt Chaser when relaying a story about Wiener Whistle. Not Skirt Chaser had concerns about the mix-up and wanted to be sure that I made the correction and didn’t call him Skirt Chaser or, “anything with a wiener in it.” Kind of a funny request when you’re hanging around a bunch of gay men, but I obliged.
FatGirl, who was waiting for us at a gay bar down the street, would never make such a request, “Oh my God, I love wiener!” Once we met up with him, CounterCat was talking about her day and how the traffic had really messed with her mood. “Oh my God! I know, I hate traffic,” FatGirl consoled her. “I mean, I’m the one who usually causes traffic, but I still hate it.”
After enjoying a beverage at this bar, we headed next door to see Tree and do karaoke. Typically the bar is pretty empty and when I had spoken with Tree earlier he informed me, “It’s slow, but I’ve booked you as the entertainment, so hurry up and get here.” Although it was still slow, a group of about ten or more people were enjoying the exclusive rights to the microphone and so we were enjoying some of their songs. “Let’s do a song!” FatGirl excitedly exclaimed. CounterCat preferred to watch, so FatGirl and I headed to the song book to select. As we were thumbing through the book I was finding he didn’t know most of them. “What songs do you know?” I asked. “Anything by Jennifer Lopez, Chritstina Aguilera, Britney Spears – I’m a gay man.” Within seconds of searching FatGirl was overwhelmed, “This is too much! I’ll sing anything. Just find a song and I’ll do it.”
We were waiting our turn when one of the men from the group was singing and doing an incredible job entertaining everyone. CounterCat was loving his performance and every time I turned to see what she was giggling about she would say, “Ah, you just missed it.” And missed it I did. Apparently, as he was finishing the song he fell off the barstool. His friends were having a laugh, as were the other five or six patrons, when one of his friends posed a question, “Where is your tooth? Your tooth is missing!” Shocked, the man looked in the mirror and discovered his tooth was no longer where it used to be. Pretty soon the lights were on and we were all looking for his tooth. He was too drunk to care or feel any pain and decided not to worry about it anymore when one of his friends felt compelled to check out his mouth. “We found it,” he shouted out. “It’s in his gums.” Turns out he hit his tooth on the stage which shoved it up into his gums and he couldn’t have cared less.
It was about this time that FatGirl and I were beckoned to the mic to sing Wannabe by The Spice Girls. “I don’t know them,” FatGirl informed me and, based on his performance, he wasn’t kidding. During a ‘musical break’ I told him, “I’m surprised you really don’t know this song.” “I don’t. And I have no idea what a ‘zig a zag ah’ is,” he said, referring to some of the lyrics. “Well, just throw down some of your best moves, zig a zag ah, and nobody will notice. But please be careful. I’d like to exit the stage with all of our teeth intact.”