Spent a good portion of the day house hunting with Dr. BJ and OregganO. As has become the custom, I navigate (by request of OregganO) from the back seat. I was doing my job, looking at the address on the list and telling it to OregganO, when I noticed a cord sticking out of her stereo. Like a grade school kid, I was curious, and asked what it was. “You don’t know what this is?” Dr. BJ responded, “It’s a cord for your iPod or your phone so you can play music through the car speakers.” Thankfully, Dr. BJ provided a grade school answer for me; however, even with that level of response, OregganO could tell I was still perplexed. “Don’t you have an iPod?” Dr. BJ then asked. “No,” OregganO quickly responded, “She doesn’t. Let’s keep the GPS system in the glove box for now, I don’t want to overwhelm her with technology.”
Is a car door considered technology? I ask, because a little while later we were leaving one of our destinations, my body had just barely entered the vehicle, the door was clearly ‘ajar’, and OregganO began driving. They both found this very humorous and it was at this point I wished I did own an iPod so I could drown out their laughter – when you’re the only one in the backseat, it’s easy to feel like a third tit, the infamous supernumerary nipple (that was for you Beau-D).
After the door incident, we were walking through another prospective home that had recently been renovated. “I just love the smell of new carpet,” Dr. BJ exclaimed. Like a good third tit, I immediately responded, “I had a feeling, that’s why I haven’t shaved for a while.” He said nothing with his mouth, but his face spoke volumes.
Later that night we had the privilege of hanging out with Good Eye Money Guy, If You Don’t Want It I’ll Drink It, BeauD, Passed The Sniff Test and a few other friends. Good Eye Money Guy just had hip surgery and was sharing the pros and cons of having crutches. He started discussing his JFK terminal trek when he name dropped a few aircrafts, “The jetway was clearly set up for an A380 and not a CRJ200.” “OK world traveler,” Beau-D interjected, “maybe you could speak in terms we all understand. By the way, when are we going to South Africa? And, do you have your vaccinations? I hear the gluteus injection is a hard one.” We all laughed a bit and Beau-D continued, “It’s true, you have to get a shot in your gluteus maximus and I hear it’s like peanut butter.” This was getting better by the minute. Good Eye Money Guy retorted, “Maybe you could speak in terms we all understand?”
Fast forward several hours and the last of the die-hards, Dr. BJ, Passed The Sniff Test and I, were on the stoop, wrapping up a stellar day. Based on Dr. BJ’s balance and chattiness I suspected he might be drunk. “Are you drunk?” I asked him. “I think I might be,” he replied and added, “I’m going to text Disdain and I’m just going to say ‘hey’.” Yes, he was drunk. He did so and Disdain responded with, “Hey”. Dr. BJ followed up with “Hey! What are you doing?” Disdain replied, “Having hot chocolate with Mark.” Dr. BJ, in proper drunk form, followed up with a drunk dial. “Hey! What are you doing?” Disdain patiently and kindly responded, “Having hot chocolate with Mark.” Passed The Sniff Test and I were quite enjoying the exchange. “It’s times like this,” I told him, “That I really love being the third tit.”