Met Fru Fru Pants today to workout. Once we arrived at her work’s fitness facility and saw the oodles of people occupying the equipment, we decided to walk along the river instead. As we were walking along the riverbank we saw many interesting things, most of which are probably reportable to law enforcement. My favorite part of this walk is the little park made ‘in memory of’ people with Alzheimer’s – it has not been taken care of in years, I’m guessing they just forgot.
After completing the walk, and being reminded of my French assets, I decided to do Just Dance at home for several hours. I was starting up the Wii when I got a call from FatGirl who wanted me to join him at the gym – perfect! Just as we were pulling into the parking lot a bee flew in the general proximity of FatGirl’s window. FatGirl, who was driving, started screaming and flailing his arms around (letting go of the steering wheel while continuing to apply pressure to the gas pedal). “Aaaaaaah! I can’t stand bugs!” he wailed and, once he had a minute to catch his breath, we made our way inside.
Passed The Sniff Test and I met up to go to Social Distortion and while there we “shared a moment.” There was a lot of people watching taking place and as we were looking toward the stage behind the other concert attendees we noticed a crutch being extended in the air and ‘rawking’ to the beat. A few minutes later the owner of the crutches, a one-legged man, was standing directly in front of us – completely getting his groove on. “I’ve peaked,” said Passed The Sniff Test. “I never thought I would live long enough to see a one-legged man dance.” I replied, “Sounds like you need to set some new goals.”
FatGirl phoned me just as the concert was ending, “Beunas Naches,” he squealed into the phone. “That’s pretty impressive Mexican,” I quipped. “No wonder you have so many minority scholarships.” “I know, right?” FatGirl giggled, “Now hurry and met me at the gay bar!” Once at the bar, FatGirl stepped outside to check on air quality. Passed The Sniff Test and I were sitting at the table enjoying our beverages when a cute gay couple approached us, introduced themselves and starting asking miscellaneous questions. One of the questions, which they asked of Passed The Sniff Test, was, “So, are you family?” “Yeah, sure,” Passed The Sniff Test kindly responded. I smirked and advised them he was not in fact family and then briefed Passed The Sniff Test on the meaning.
Later, when relaying this story to Tree, he expressed displeasure, “Who even uses the term ‘family’ these days?!?” We were then discussing FatGirl’s impressive language skills when he informed us, “I learned all of my Spanish from Christina Aguilera.” Tree reminded him, “Yes and who had to correct you on the Spanish lyrics?” “Speaking of,” FatGirl started saying and then failed to complete the segway. “Speaking of is what he says when he wants to change the subject,” Tree advised us. “Speaking of,” FatGirl stated again, “Who wants another drink?”
I don’t know what family means. Does it have anything to do with a fanny pack? Or assets? What does it mean?
“Family” is, in some ways, a synonym for “rainbow.” And, everybody knows, rainbows are gay.
Speaking of bananas, I really could have used one this morning. Not for my assets – but for my assets. You know what I mean?