Dr. BJ and I were asked to join Johnny Utah, Add-ly, Cookie, Sleepless, and Passed The Sniff Test in a group costume: Gilligan’s Island. As The Leaver might say, ‘this was not our first rodeo.’ Add-ly, Cookie and I have group costumed before with great success and this year was sure to be no different.
Add-ly and Cookie selected the group and got dibs on Ginger and Mary Ann. Dr.BJ and I got to be Thurston Howell III and Mrs. Lovey Howell. My costume boxes are full of all kinds of goodness, but one thing that wasn’t in them was a Lovey wig. I found a fine country diva wig and OregganO trimmed it just so. The clippings were scattered on the floor when Dr. BJ had a moment of sheer brilliance, “You should attach those to some granny panties, throw them on under your dress and, mid-party, flash everybody some Lovey bush.”
I had to work before the party, so I decided to send a text to Dr. BJ, “Did you glue my hair to my granny panties?” Unfortunately, he had not. So, after we were both in full costume, I hot glued the clippings to my best granny panties. I took a quick look in the mirror and noticed a slight bulge. “Thurston, is my bush bulging?” “Yes it is, Lovey, yes it is.”
We got to the party and, as planned, we were the hit. As Prince’s ‘Kiss’ was playing I did exactly as Dr. BJ suggested – the crowd was both shocked and pleased. “Who is that?” I overheard someone say. “I’m not sure, no, wait, it’s Mrs. Roper.” Yes, last year’s Mrs. Roper is this year’s Mrs. Flashing Howell.
All of this activity made me hungry so I headed to the kitchen for something to eat. I found Ginger (Add-Ly) and Thurston drinking out of their coconuts and discussing the fact that there was no food at the party. “I’m so hungry,” said Ginger, “We may have to order pizza.” “I’m surprised,” I said, “They had food last year.” Thurston adjusted his ascot slightly and moved in closer to Ginger and I and said, “It’s a recession Lovey, it’s a recession.” “I do forget sometimes Thurston and I should have known better. If it weren’t for the recession, I could have gotten a Brazilian.”