ROFL called me with some work questions today and, mid-conversation, told me I sounded like a “bored, stay-at-home, mormon housewife.” I asked him two questions 1) what does a bored, stay-at-home, mormon housewife sound like and b) how does he know what that sounds like? He could not answer either question. I informed him I was, in fact, bored and at home and that my milkman brought me meatloaf instead of mac-n-cheese. ROFL replied, “As long you enjoy the taste, that’s all that matters.”
Later in the day I was making my daily query of the public library database, requesting any and every cd or movie I could remember, when my requests began being denied. Apparently, I have requested too much as of late. It is kind of starting to feel like we’re married, me and Dewey Decimal. It was a bit of a downer to experience such public rejection. I wonder if there are any private libraries from which I could borrow.
In the meantime, I relied upon the sound advice of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young and decided to love the dvds I was “with”: Bottle Rocket and The General. Both were exceptional. I quite like the description of Martin Cahill (The General): Family man. Psychopath. Folk hero. Gangster. “Psychopath” had me concerned for a minute, but when I read “Folk hero” I melted. Definitely characteristics to watch for when I end things with Dewey and start browsing the personal ads instead of the library catalog.
Here in suburban hell, after taking my son to his baseball game, I can attest that some stay-at-home mormon moms are downright saucy.
Well, they at least look like they COULD be saucy beneath all those layers.
could julian, but never are. unless:
a) you’re procreating
b) you’re dangling the keys to their new escalade between your legs.
Good points gentlemen.
Careful of the saucy factor. If you fall for that trick you may end up:
a) procreating only to find, nine months later, that you now owe child support
b) with nothing dangling between your legs because they took the keys to the escalade and your nuts are in a mason jar on their kitchen shelf.