Chaps and Chops

OregganO sent me a text today telling me she had a surprise for me and to stop by after work. I, of course, obliged and arrived at her house immediately after work. My surprise: black fishnet leggings. I was so excited! I told her I had spoken with Clark Kent today and we were discussing the difference between a bitch and a tramp. After the discussion I told him I would much rather be a tramp. The fishnet leggings couldn’t have come at a better time. OregganO and I shared a glass of wine and I made my way to Italian class, senza Alice. I tried to convince OregganO to join me, but she had things to do. We planned to meet up again after my class.

Class was good as usual, with all kinds of ‘blogworthy’ material. It was, however, not as much fun senza Alice. Apparently last week Not A Good Chef announced he was Not A Good Drunk. Sorry that I missed that. This week, Not A Good Drunk Chef and Overachiever were relatively quiet, while That’s Not Italian was in rare form. We were talking about eating and one of the students wanted to know how to translate ‘beached whale.’ That’s Not Italian responded, “The real Italian are not beached whale. That’s an American thing.” A few minutes later, the power went out in the room. That’s Not Italian instructed us to, “move around, a lot, you no move around, that’s the problem, light is magic and shut off.” Quattro Espressos went out of his way to bring power back to the room, which really impressed Bombshell McGee. They’re so cute.

Midway through class I received a text from FatGirl. He and Tree wanted to get drinks. I, of course, told him I was in, as soon as I finished class. I stopped by OregganO’s for conversation and, while there, received another text from FatGirl saying he might not go out  and, instead, would wallow in his self-pity. I responded with, “Why wallow when you can swallow. Meet us for dinner and drinks.” The wallow swallow comment got to him, and he decided to join us.

OregganO and I picked up Tree and we began to make our way to FatGirl’s place. Tree decided to shave some chops and told us, “Now all I need are some assless chaps.” Chaps and chops are where it’s at these days. We arrived at FatGirl’s and, as soon as we opened the door, he started snapping pictures. He did his hair today, but not with a beanie. He informed us, “I finger tossed it….and my hair too.”

Tree and FatGirl had already eaten so we went to a Mexican drive-thru by FatGirl’s house to get food for OregganO and I. FatGirl told us they serve minority scholarships and burritos. Makes sense. We got our burritos and took them to our first stop. While there, we began talking about music and FatGirl informed us he would cry if he met J Lo. Tree informed him he would never cry for any celebrity – ever! Tree then told us how he would charge his mom and aunts a quarter to watch him perform Crystal Gayle’s “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue” and would close with “Purple People Eater,” to bring the mood back up. Such a good man, always thinking of his audience.

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