Received a very kind voice mail from It Is Cheese today – he actually left it yesterday, but I check my messages about as often as I check myself (every other day or so). It appears MyFace, Sleepless and I have left quite an impression on the lot of them and they would like us to return for the opening of their nightclub. Why not? Perhaps I can learn French at the opening. It Is Cheese is Swiss and speaks French. When I told him I had taken Italian classes but didn’t learn much other than, “Io o pantalones blu,” he stated, “That is because you took Italian from someone who speaks Italian. If you really want to learn Italian, take it from someone who speaks French.” Makes perfect sense. I wish I had thought of it sooner. My Italian class was very beneficial, however, in that I got to spend one day a week with Alice – the gift that just keeps giving.
Fortunately for me, I got to hang out with Alice this week, sans language lessons. She sent me a message early in the week inviting me to a party at her house in celebration of Mick Jagger’s Birthday and, as a side note, because somebody is moving away. This somebody’s boyfriend, Cardboard CutOut (he couldn’t be there so Alice made a small cardboard gnome of sorts), sponsored the party – purchased all kinds of delicious foods from a local eatery and provided all kinds of beer, wine and spirits. Upon arriving Alice had me pose with Cardboard CutOut for a few pictures. The sauciest photos were of Alice and I on the bed with Cardboard CutOut. He was the cream and we were the cookies. Scandalous.
Last year OregganO and I had a yard sale and gave unsold items to friends and enemies. Alice became the recipient of “The Swell Life,” a journal in which she could write down all of our funny conversations and comments. Alice and I have spent many nights adding to the book and, until recently, Hot Mustard stood by and shook his head while laughing inside (LI, a lot like LOL, but different). Alice shared a story with me about a time she and Hot Mustard were wrapped in each other’s arms in the bathroom. Alice was facing the mirror and Hot Mustard was facing Alice. Hot Mustard was feeling slightly frisky and asked Alice, “Are you tired?” Alice replied, “No, I’m ready to party and I look really pretty.” Hot Mustard replied, “Write that in the book.” He’s coming around.
Alice and I started talking about other funny comments that were either in the book or bookable. I mentioned a few of the comments made by It Is Cheese this weekend, for example, “Smell with your mouth.” It Is Cheese brought MyFace a shot and suggested she smell it. He came back a few minutes later to find MyFace had enjoyed every last drop of the shot and he responded, “That was really for me. I just told you to smell and I find out you smell with your mouth. I’m a kidding.” Alice quite liked this exchange and stated, “Smell with your mouth, not with your hands. Isn’t that an old saying?” Maybe. Let’s see. There is ‘melt in your mouth, not in your hand’ and ‘see with your eyes, not with your hands’ and, now, coined by Alice, ‘smell with your mouth, not with your hands.’ Another bookable comment.
I told Alice about a new book of comments titled, “Sh*t My Dad Says“. She replied, “I could totally write a book like that. Except, I don’t remember any of the shit my dad said.” Bookable. It was obvious Alice was getting tired so I packed up my lunch (Hot Mustard had provided me baggies for leftovers several hours earlier). As she and I were wrapping up our conversation Hot Mustard came into the room. Alice asked how much longer his friends might be staying and if it would be rude to ask them to leave. She then stated, “I’m just so tired.” I replied, “but you look really pretty…..”